Fighting a loosing battle? It isn't loosing unless you quit....

“I know all about the despair of overcoming chronic temptations. It is not serious provided self-offended petulance, annoyance at breaking records, impatience et cetera doesn’t get the upper hand. No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes are in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one’s temper and give it up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present to us: it is the very sign of his presence.” -C.S. Lewis Whew. What a relief to know that God still wants us, tattered and torn, masks off, just as we are...and that as long as we keep looking for Him and don't give it up that there we will find Him. What a blessing.

Stella

So enough with the song lyrics already.
It been a long time since I actually wrote something about myself or my life. My life continues to be just as ridiculous as usual. I am sure you would all be happy to hear a Henry update, so I shall recount the last few months of his life.

Henry after being repaired several more times over this past winter, and needeing a new muffle to pass inspection, and having to be towed once, also got broken into and had his stereo stolen. Because lets face it, that poor car wasn't going to have an alarm and didn't have anything else in it worth stealing. So I am left with a car with a broken tape deck (thank goodness I never threw out the factory stereo) and thanks to my very good friends Abi and James, Leopard print duct tape on my back window... suffice it to say that duct tape only holds so long and after the heat wave this July the AC isnt working so hot...ask me sometime about how I tried to put coolant in the AC system by myslef..thats a good story too. Anyhow after much deliberation I decided it was time for a new car. New meaning at least ten years newer then Henry. I searched and searched and searched for a new car, I test drove many, I even put a deposit on one and thought I was doing a great job and was soooo ready to be done car shopping only to find out I was getting swindled by the car salesman and what I thought was a good deal... well wasn't...

There were many tears, and some angery and a lot of frustration... and then a trip to the beach...to my haven in Oakhurst, where I was informed that the dearest of dear bosom friends of mine were selling a what?...a honda civic... you mean what I have been looking for the last 4 months? ...and its in great shape...and it has a sunroof...and its in my price range...and they would be happy to work with me on payments...and it would be a favor to them because they are moving and need to get rid of it...and the God Blessings just kept pouring down over me... Like a flood.

Say hello to Stella, My new car. :)

T.A.N.

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?

I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

And I, I love you
And I want you to know
That I, I'll love you
I'll never let you go

This is where the healing begins...

10th Ave. N.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LartL77Nuqs

Tenth Avenue North...

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are.
What's been done for you?
Yeah, don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what he felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA

My dear...

We're slow dancing in a burning room...

half of my heart

I was born in the arms of imaginary friends
Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been
Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring

Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart

I was made to believe i'd never love somebody else
I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself
Lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came
Showing me a better way and all that my love can bring

Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That I can't keep loving you
Oh, with half of my heart
With half of my heart

Your faith is strong
But I can only fall short for so long
Time will hold, later on
You will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart
But I can't stop loving you
But I can't stop loving you
But I can't stop loving you with half of my...

Half of my heart
Half of my heart

Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
Half of my heart's got you
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
That half of my heart won't do

Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring
And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never really loved anything